If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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