ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
