You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
my liver is dry heaving
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
