the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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