I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
