also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
