I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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