Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
