You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
last night I used snow as a chaser
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