it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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