The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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