Where is the hickey?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
