It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
