you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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