no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this just has baby written all over it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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