That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
