Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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