I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
