After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize