I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
