My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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