i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
