Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
