The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
