bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
