I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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