Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
