you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
