Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
