I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
