I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
