Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
