I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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