can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You should frame my arrest warrant.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
