Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
