Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
