so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
BRING THE BAGELS
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
