I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this beer tastes like vomit already
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
