Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
