I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
