I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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