I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
