Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
