Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
