Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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