I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how can u be prego again
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
