Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
