i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
