Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
