we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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