He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
