you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
