Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
