He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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