Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
